I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
