she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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