Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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