He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I did not marry a roomba.
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