How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
