He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
