Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
