I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
