he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
