So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
