Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize