i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
