i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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