dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Two words: blizzard sex
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
