Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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