BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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