oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
