i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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