garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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