Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
