I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
