You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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