called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
