There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
