So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
