she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
