I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
