We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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