i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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