i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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