I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
