yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
