I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
