Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
