Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
