We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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