Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
