Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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