He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
