Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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