like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
