I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
