That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
