he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
