How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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