Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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