i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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