1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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