Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Found your dick twin last night
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
