worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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