It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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