He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
